I quickly threw some challah to someone as I caught up with Valerie to walk her out. She obviously sensed that I might be interested in her, so she casually mentioned that she only dated people who were at least 30, because she needed a 'mature relationship', - yada, yada, yada, yawn. So she left and I thought "Oh well, now who's next?"

She certainly redeemed herself the following week, when she called me up to borrow a stapler. I came over again, this time she made some other dish, and I hesitatingly tried some, but to my surprise it was fantastic. It was definitely a better evening, but interestingly, she never asked for the stapler I brought over. Anyway, two years later, I proposed, and I'm now honest when it comes to critiquing dishes.

I had a job interview the Monday following Simchas Torah, so Miles cajoled me to come out to Pittsburgh for the Yom Tov. I reluctantly agreed, remembering that the last time we spent a Yom Tov together, other people kept thinking we were engaged…which we were not, and the subject of marriage was always very difficult to discuss with him. So I went to Pittsburgh, on the condition that we do not have any meals together at other people's houses. That Wednesday, I was literally dragged to evening services and when I wanted to sit all by my lonesome self, a friend of Miles', Debbie, insisted that I sit next to her. Sometime during the middle of services, I was passed a synagogue bulletin and in the thank-you section I read: 

"And Finally, I'd like to say that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Valerie, will you marry me? (yes, yes, yes, - Miles)"

 I dropped my prayer book and slowly crumpled into my seat, and I somehow managed to nod a yes to Miles. Needless to say, I was a little shocked.

For a long time I knew I was going to propose to Valerie. The only question was when and where. Well, I had a million possible plans for proposals, but they all hinged on when the ring I ordered was going to arrive, and if I would be in Baltimore, Pittsburgh, or NJ, and obviously where she was going to be at that time. Valerie expected me to propose at sometime, but I have been prepping her by stating, "I'll come to a 'decision' in the following summer." And that if I proposed "It would be like hitting a brick wall."

Then as Simchas Torah and Shimeni Asteret approached I received the ring, and I convinced Valerie to come out to Pittsburgh for the holiday season. I think I had to make a number of promises to her that I never planned on keeping, such as: we will eat at separate houses, that everyone out in Pittsburgh dates for two years before getting married, and no one will ask how long we’ve been dating.

The plan was to create a fake shul bulletin for our Pittsburgh synagogue, Shaarei Torah, and to have someone hand it to Valerie during Mincha-Maariv of Shimenei Asteret. My intention was for her to look through the bulletin, slowly, throughout davening, and eventually see the proposal, which I stuck into the middle of the bulletin.

The actual text was:

Congratulations to the Gettleshmuzle family on the Bar mitzvah of their son the bar mitzvah boy. Mazel tov to the Shminkledinks on the birth of their granddaughter. Happy Anniversary to the Olfolk’s on their 70^th wedding anniversary. And lastly I want to say I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, valerie, will you marry me? -miles. (yes,yes,yes,yes) Congratulations to big schmuel for winning the matzo ball eating contest with 57 balls and only two bottles of pepto. Give a heart felt yasher coach to the shul’s choir for coming in 23^rd place in the inner city nigun-rap-country-sing-a-long. Thank you to the grandma Bichelmachel in the timely use of her chulent to patch the leaky roof. And thank you big schmuel for ‘cleaning’ up the chulent when it stopped raining. Don’t scream to loudly, we’re davening now.

(Maybe I was going overboard with the announcements, but I was enjoying it.}

I called Val’s home in NJ, and her mother picked up the phone. We said hello, and then I asked "By the way, I was just wondering if you had any messages you wanted me to relay to your daughter after I propose to her tonight?" Silence, it was the first time I ever heard ***silence*** while talking to a Rotter, although she was able to finally say ‘mazel tov’.

T - 10

Debbie was rushing Valerie so they could make it to mincha on time. Valerie kept asking what the rush was for, and just assumed Debbie regularly davens three times a day.

Debbie had Valerie sitting in the first few rows of the women’s section, slightly behind the row where I was sitting. During the chazzan’s repetition of the Amidah prayer, Debbie handed the bulletin over to Valerie. She glanced at it and promptly handed it back. So Debbie gave it to another friend of ours, Miriam, to read and Miriam started laughing and saying how funny it was. So Valerie started to read again, and then simply put it down, again; before reading the last page. Debbie told Valerie to keep reading, and so Valerie, again, picked up the notice to read. In the meanwhile, everyone was standing as it’s the middle of the Kaddish prayer, and the guy behind me was wondering why I kept staring into the women’s section.

All of a sudden I saw Valerie look at me and collapse into her seat, while dropping her siddur. As Miriam and Debbie helped prop her back up, she mouthed to me "Is this a joke? Are you joking?".

This was definitely not the reaction I was looking for. I was basically expecting a scream, or a hoot, or something that would have caused everyone’s head to turn. So, not to be outdone, I reached into my pocket and took out the ring box I was carrying.

I held it up in the air, and she collapsed again, basically remaining paralyzed throughout the remainder of the service. Remember, women aren’t required to daven three times a day.

Finally after davening, I went over to her, she's quiet and still obviously shocked. Val sat in her seat as though the wind was knocked out of her, but she is finally able to whisper to me "I can’t believe it. I thought it was going to be in the summertime, I….I….I can’t wait to find out my parents reaction. "

"Oh, they said mazel tov -- I told them an hour ago."

"Y O U T O L D M Y P A R E N T S ????!!!!!!????!!!??!!?!?!?!?!"

"So is this a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?

"YES, yes, yes, yes" (As her mood changes yet again)

After services, we’re walking to someone’s house, for dinner, and Valerie is bubbly and says, "I can’t wait to tell Mrs. Katz."

"Oh yeah….I told her a month ago."

BOOM

"YOU TOLD MRS. KATZ!!!!!"

Anyway just a word to any guy who may be thinking about proposing. Women enjoy telling people that they have become engaged, especially close relatives and friends. So be careful.